Being in relationships are usually wonderful thing for some but for others… it’s not at the top of their priority list. If you’re looking for love and having difficulty finding it then it could be that you’re giving off the vibe that you’re too independent for a relationship, and you may not even realize it. And how is anyone to know which person you are—the one looking for love or the one who’s just fine on their own? You’ve got to let people know, because most people don’t read minds.
The best way to fix something is to find out why it’s not working in the first place. So, here are three clues that your independence may be killing your chances of finding love and having that great relationship. I’ve also included three ways to bust that dam wide open and start flooding your calendar with dates.
Clue No. 1: You Never Ask for Help
We know you’re no stranger to rearranging furniture or hanging curtain rods. We all know that you’re perfectly capable of climbing that ladder you bought at the home improvement store and driving a few screws with your handy-dandy, pink, power screw gun. But what if you asked someone to help? Just because you can do something on your own, it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to. Here’s your chance to open up and let others in. It could be curtain rods, a flat tire or tax advice—it doesn’t matter. What matters is that seeking advice helps you connect with others and it’s good practice for when you’re actually in a relationship. No man/woman is an island.
Clue No. 2: You Only Socialize With Single People
If you and your friends are all single, you’re probably still in your 20s. What? You’re not? Then why don’t you have any married or in-a-relationship friends? Nothing says “I’m independent and don’t need a relationship” like having single friends. Friends with spouses have friends and family— a whole new group of people you’d probably never meet on your own, and certainly not meet if you’re out at some random bar with a gaggle of girls in a sea of singletons. Let me throw you a life raft: If you’re really serious about finding love, then let people who are already in love give you a hand. Sure, it can suck being the third, fifth or even seventh wheel. But your married friends will rush to your side and help you find someone who could be just right for you. Who knows you better than your closest friends?
Clue No. 3: You Ignore Unsolicited Advice
Do you blow up at friends when they offer advice? Do you blow them off and ignore them when they ask uncomfortable questions? If so, you’re not only independent, you’re also probably pretty lonely. If a friend asked you if you liked being single, what would you say? If you said “yes,” (even if you don’t mean it), then your friend won’t give you advice or try to set you up.
How’s Being Single Working for You?
We’re taught that people who are independent don’t express needs, wants or desires. When they have a goal, they get it done on their own and in their own time. Okay. So how’s that working for you? Exactly.
Swallow Your Pride
Don’t bite off the hand that’s offering you advice. Instead, take a healthy chunk out of that pride of yours and swallow it. Tell your friends, “No, I hate being single. Do you have any suggestions?” Be honest with yourself and them. Being independent is an asset, but not accepting help when it’s offered is just asinine, and that certainly doesn’t describe you. You’re not only independent, you’re smart too. Aren’t you? I knew it.