Do you ever wonder why you seem to attract men in your life that are toxic and that seem to be broken? You feel that you have a sign over your head telling all of the broken men to come your way. Why are you allowing these kinds of men to come to you? You might even ask yourself over and over, “why do I attract these kinds of men?”
Why You Attract Guys that Can’t Be Fixed
Here are some reasons you attract toxic relationships:
- You Have a Low Self-Image
When you are insecure and you don’t think much about yourself, chances are that you will attract the same to your life. You might think that you don’t deserve to be loved and the way that you treat yourself allows others to treat you the same.
You show how insecure you are by how you talk about yourself and by the value that you give your life. Toxic men are attracted to women that aren’t sure about themselves because they know that these are the women that will validate them and raise up their self-esteem.
- Always There
Men want women that are hard to get and so when you are always there for someone, they will attract to you in a negative way. Being there for someone all the time allows them to take advantage of you. This can be negative in your relationships and can sometimes even lead to abuse and being used.
If you are there for someone that doesn’t treat you well, you are allowing them to put their toxicity on you and to not show that you mean something.
- Boundaries
All relationships need to have some kind of boundaries. If you have no boundaries then you are letting people offend you and walk all over you. Even good relationships have to have boundaries and you need to always set these.
Don’t compromise on what you believe in and don’t let someone come across and take advantage of you.
- You Don’t Know What You Want
You need to figure out what you want in your relationships and get it. If you want to just have someone to have sex with, so be it, but if you want a commitment, don’t give into guys that don’t want to go a step further. You should never feel bad for setting goals and standards for what you want.
- Broken
Some women are broken in their emotions and therefore they attract people that are the same. If you have been with other partners and your heart was broken, chances are you haven’t moved on.
Men that are toxic are attracted to this because they think that they can treat you how they want and that you will stay with them.
- Past Relationships
Some people have past relationships that were very bad and they seem to get stuck in a rut. If you are with someone that has abused you in the past, you cannot get back into this. You have to expose what you have went through and don’t let more damage come into your life.
- Fixing Things
There are women that just want to fix others. If you are that person and you want to fix someone and that is why you are with them, run. Don’t try to be with someone that is broken because you think that you can make them someone else. You are not going to change someone.
A person that is damaged will want your attention but that doesn’t mean they will change their terrible ways. Don’t let them trample over you and make you think that this means love.
- Setting Hopes
You should always have high hopes and expectations when you get into any relationship. But if you are hoping to marry someone and they are not there for you then you need to move on. Don’t just have sex with someone to meet your desires when you want a commitment. Make them commit to you first.
If you are the one always giving and they are not, this can mean that they aren’t committed to you and that they don’t care about your relationship.
- People Pleaser
If you are a people pleaser, then chances are that you are in a relationship with someone that can be toxic. Don’t keep going the extra mile to make sure other people are happy while you are there miserable. Dating toxic guys can get you stuck in a place where you aren’t getting your needs met. Pay attention to who they are and how they treat you and then go from there. If it isn’t working out for you, move forward and find someone that is giving you what you want.
The article provides insightful reasons into why some individuals attract toxic relationships. It’s essential to reflect on our behaviors and self-image to understand these patterns better.
I found the section on boundaries particularly compelling. Establishing and maintaining boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships, regardless of past experiences.
The emphasis on not trying to ‘fix’ someone resonates deeply. It’s important to recognize that we cannot change others, and that attempting to do so can be detrimental to our own well-being.
I agree, Dione. Often, the desire to fix others stems from a place of insecurity and a need to feel needed, which ultimately leads to an unhealthy dynamic.
The article’s discussion on self-image and attracting similar energies is thought-provoking. Working on self-esteem and self-worth is a vital step towards healthier relationships.
The idea that past relationships influence current ones is worth exploring further. Understanding this can help in breaking the cycle of toxic relationships.