Saying moving on after a painful break-up or loss takes time is just an understatement coz it takes more than that. Self-reflection is more important when we desire to move on since we already have painful questions that need answers due to the fact that a part of us is already lost and all the plans we made, dreams we shared and same commitments we had have been thrown away.
This personal process involves the following 4 initiatives:
- Acknowledge your honest fresh emotions
Embrace the emotional situation you’re in honestly and without discrimination. Engaging in activities such as drinking, self-denial or even just waiting for the loss to stop hurting just won’t make you feel better. Acknowledge your situation and be sad, cry yell, sob when you need to. This is a way of showing that you really value and honor whatever you’ve lost.
This is not the time to regret or hate yourself as those just make everything more complicated. Accept that whatever happened had happened, that is the only way you can control yourself. Acknowledge your problems just the same way you would acknowledge an orphan with both arms.
- Allow yourself to be helped
Allow yourself to be cared for. Friends and family are just some of the few individuals who are ready to support you if you allow them to. You do not have to change your behaviors, just be yourself and in your current situation be it mourning and grieved self. Do not try to hide anything and allow real support to be there for you. Be true to your pain and let others help you overcome them. Be open and don’t control how you feel.
- Integrate the experience into your being
Contemplate on the impact of that relationship and break up or that loss only after healing. What are the contributions of that person and that experience towards your well-being? What did you achieve?
Ponder if the next time you’ll be opening your heart it will have learned something and if you’ll be more careful and open. Acknowledge the fact that you’ve made a progress into healing yourself. Build yourself back by embracing your weaknesses.
- Get ready for the new
You’ll be ready for a new chapter of life once you have gone through sadness, support, and integration. You will be stronger and firm as your progress into the future through the help of your intuitions and encounters. You will be able to do everything that you weren’t capable of and those who gave you a shoulder to lean will always be there. Therefore, be thankful and show them, love. It’s now time for you to experience happiness after days of pain. Happiness will be part of you, therefore, don’t send it away. You deserve to continue living.
Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting
Moving on means you have become a new self unknowingly but magnificently. It doesn’t mean doing away with the pain. Reflecting on who you are and your needs. Wishing and visioning. It means going through hard times to come out stronger and well developed.
Moving on is like being born again. It’s a painful and long journey. It needs believing in what you don’t know. Just like birth. But when it eventually happens it becomes worth it.