People usually calls me for help with their dysfunctional and chaotic relationships, but what does it actually mean? Well, a “functional” relationship is one that works for both people involved. However, dysfunctional relationships just feel wrong. Maybe something is missing in your relationship, or you don’t like the way your partner treats you—neglect, disrespect or hurt. Maybe being with them is tiring or maybe you are carrying them or supporting them through life. These are all signs of a dysfunctional relationship, but there are more signs still. Here are some other signs to look out for.
1. You’re in Romantic Limbo
Do you feel like your relationship isn’t going anywhere? If you do, that’s one of the signs of a dysfunctional relationship. Instead of taking the next steps (the steps you want to take), like marriage, having a child, buying a home, or meeting each other’s families, your partner refuses to make any kind of commitment—you’re in romantic limbo. And, whenever you try to talk about it, they get angry or defensive. Perhaps they have a fear of commitment as a result of a previous relationship. Perhaps they have a negative view of commitment because their parents had a bad marriage. They may say things like, “I don’t see myself ever settling down,” or “I’m not good at relationships.” If they’re willing, they could work on these issues, but if not, anyone who is with them is in a dysfunctional relationship.
2. The Relationship is Dragging You Down
Is your partner’s negative attitude getting the best of you? Are they projecting their negativity on you? If they blame you for their problems, that is one of the signs of a dysfunctional relationship. It’s also called emotional abuse! They may pick fights over stupid or trivial things and accuse you of being argumentative. You may even blame yourself for their unhappiness, but the truth is you have a toxic partner, and if that’s the case, run, don’t walk, away.
3. You Just Make Each Other Miserable
You may have shared some good times in the past, but now you just make each other miserable for no apparent reason. If the good times outweigh the bad, this is one of the signs of a dysfunctional relationship. The truth is you may just be incompatible, and a love psychic can tell you that. In this case, no one is to blame; your personalities just clash and you both want different things. It’s really better just to part amicably and not waste any more time and energy on your relationship.
4. You’re Doing Most of the Work
If you’re doing most of the work, that’s a sign of a dysfunctional relationship. If you always make the plans, if you work on your communication skills, and you’re constantly trying to make your partner happy, you must feel exhausted all the time. Do they cancel the dates you plan, and say they’re too busy? They think their time is more important than yours. It’s true, relationships can’t be 50/50 all the time, but if you are giving 80% or more all the time, you in a dysfunctional relationship.
Accept It or Let It Go
Every relationship requires compromises and you’re probably not going to get 100% of what you want, but if you love each other enough, you can work on it. Still, you may need professional help. If the person you love is persistently unwilling to do their part in cooperating with the process, you must make a choice: Either accept things the way they are and try to be happy in your dysfunctional relationship or else let it go because it’s not going to change.
Letting go of an unhealthy relationship is not easy, but it is a huge relief when you finally reach that point. How will you know when it’s time? Listen to your heart. Feel your pain. Some people are more patient than others, and only you can decide when you’ve had enough. I’m not here to push you, but I am here to help you gain clarity. I will support you through the process of becoming free so that you can be ready for the real love you want and deserve.