Do you find certain people can make you instantly switch from feeling uplifted and productive to irritable and craving the nearest bed? We face many energy vampires throughout our lives and they often can be people we otherwise love and respect. Energy vampires are individuals who either consciously or subconscious sap your vital energy from you. Their attacks happen because they are so hurting, they deserve to use another’s life force in order to help them get through the day. Thankfully, there are ways you can identify and adapt to their behavior in order to protect yourself from the mental, physical, and emotional strain they cause.
How to spot an energy vampire
- Failure to take responsibility: Energy vampires always make excuses for their chaotic effects. They charm people, manipulate them, and deflect blame with ease. It is impossible for them to admit to the damage they cause other people and you may have to adjust your behavior accordingly to keep yourself safe.
- Intense and anxious energy: Energy vampires constantly have the jitters, when you combine this with severe insecurity you have the recipe for energetic chaos.
- No boundaries: This person ignores any social etiquette or cue and will come across demanding and needy. Energy vampires are hard to navigate since they refuse to take no for an answer.
- Attention seekers: Energy vampire always desire to have situations revolve around them. You could be in the middle of a personal story and this individual will find someway to make your narrative about them or their experience. Their charisma can be charming for a short period of time, but after a while you just need space to recharge -alone!
- Negative mindsets: Everything always seems to be horrible or worthy of a complaint. Sure, it can be equally exhausting to always stay positive, but would it really hurt the person to say something encouraging every once in a while.
- Drama king/queen: Chaos always follow an energy vampire. They love playing the victim and constantly expect you to drop everything in order to fix their latest problem.
- One-upmanship: They always want to know what you are up to, but desire to find ways being just slightly better than you at it. They don’t want to share the glory and find it impossible to express genuine support for another person.
- Get you to talk so they can talk again: Energy vampires are fair-weather individuals. They may ask you about you day, but truly have no interest in your answer. They want the credit for looking like a good friend when they are unwilling to put any work into maintain a healthy relationship. They are always look for an opportunity to shift attention back onto themselves.
- Martyrdom: They act like they are really trying, but they are incapable of putting forth any real effort. They love to highlight how others are failing them and use these rants as opportunities for validation or self-esteem boosts.
- Manipulative: Energy vampire will use any play in the playbook to get their way. They will guilt trip you or give ultimatums in order to make you feel shame to do their bidding.
- They weaponize your compassion: Empaths are easy prey for energy vampires. They seek out a willing ear so they can exploit this person’s patience and insight. Sadly, empaths are targeted because they want to believe everyone is good at their core.
- Erratic energy: There is no chill with this person! They are so reactive their emotions go from 0-60 in a second and cause everyone around them to feel unbalanced.
- Constant excuses: There is always a new reason why a problem is occurring in this person’s life. They complain frequently and expect others to solve their problems since they are incapable of owning their personal actions.
Implications of energy vampires
Energy vampires are demanding and needy individuals. The result of their demands saps people’s energy and can cause a host of physical, mental, and spiritual trouble for their victims. This includes bouts of anxiety, depression, sleep issues, and heart problem over time. This happens because energy reverberate through everything at varying frequencies. Emotionally stressful people vibration at higher frequencies, but in a maladaptive way. Their energetic patterns are unstable and corrupt any sense of calmness in a room. Their energy spreads like a virus causing massive devastation in is wake. By recognizing the traits of an energy vampire, you can take steps to protect yourself, such as those we have provided below.
- Set and maintain boundaries: This is easier said than done, but work to understand your limitations such as how much time you want to spend with them. Avoid any prolonged exposure like a vacation, or tight spaces with them. If you are fine having a meal with them, understand what time you want to leave by so you don’t overextend yourself. Otherwise focus on doing having a quick conversation with them and then find a valid excuse for why you need to suddenly go.
- Manage your expectations: Know what is realistic or a fantasy when it comes to dealing with this person. If you know they are incapable of listening, then don’t waste time sharing significant details about your life with them. This way you won’t get disappointed when they again find a way to make your story about them. If they begin to complain about their life without identifying any ways they can improve it, listen and avoid giving any advice. There’s really no point since they won’t take it anyway.
- Set aside finite space for them in your life: You shouldn’t have to be at their beck and call. It’s ok to respond to a call or a text on your timeline rather than theirs. As you keep consistent with this practice, they will naturally turn to other people that have weaker boundaries than you to complain to about all of their problems.
- Don’t poke the bear: If you find yourself in a negative interaction, don’t engage further. You can maintain a neutral face and avoid providing feedback to their issues. Instead try shifting the conversation to a lighter topic.
- Stay calm: Energy vampire feed off of reactions. By keeping neutral and grounded you can avoid their outbursts.
- Say “no” kindly: Often, energy vampires are our loved ones. Remember deep down they love you too and don’t want you to be hurt. When you say “no” nicely you are honoring yourself, but staying respectful to your relationship.
- Reduce contact: There is no way around it, energy vampires are bad for your health. Reassess the importance of this person in your life. If they aren’t close to you then feel free to cut them out of your life. If there are someone important to you, find a way to have a healthy conversation about the impact of their actions on your life. Create physical distance between you both and start shifting to conversations via text or phone, rather than in person.