The beginning stages of falling in love are magical, new, and refreshing. Everything else in life seems to stop as you move through love. It feels as though you’ve found the one who knows your soul inside and out, and this brings a fresh spark to life. As the years pass, however, this new feeling seems to dissipate like steam from hot water. You start to wonder if it was all in your imagination, if the love was real. In most cases, it was very real. Problems arise when you stop adding more water to that boiling pot or when the boil starts to fizzle out.
Nourishment, in every aspect, provides the soul with fulfillment and feeds that feeling of love. In the beginning of a relationship this happens almost involuntarily as you and your beloved bask in the glory of each other. You feel, interpret, and process the spiritual aspects of each other without much consideration. Unless engaged in a relationship that places a particular focus on spirituality, you probably won’t deal with this aspect of the relationship often or mutually moving forward.
As life settles back in and the initial high wears off, it becomes more difficult to maintain the vitality of your relationship. The world didn’t stop when you fell in love; love just became the focus. When that focus settles back on the day to day, you need to work harder to honor your relationship.
To find the right balance of romance, spirituality, respect, trust, and unity add these simple behaviors into your routine.
1) Turn your fights into solutions
We all want to have happy, healthy relationships with people we care about. But it seems that we have fallen under a false belief thanks to media and culture that fighting in relationships is a sign that your relationship is “toxic”. Because we think fighting in relationships is a bad thing, we avoid it or tell ourselves we have to leave the relationship if fights start to happen.
Don’t think of fights as being these horrible overwhelming obstacles in your life. Take them on together as a team and work together towards a solution as a team. The goal should always be to improve your relationship somehow after a fight by improving clarity, honest, and transparency.
Breakdowns are the main doorway to breakthroughs in life, and fights in a relationship is a really healthy way for both of you to arrive at a solution together and create a union as souls out of your moments of disharmony. Don’t be afraid to dig deep into yourself and into your partner to find the root causes of behaviour, reactions, fears, and habits by asking questions like “Why do you always react that way?”.
2) Spend time meditating, in nature, or watching documentaries together
If you want your relationship to be a spiritual partnership, you have to be growing together as minds just as much as souls. If you are heavily interested in researching alternative medicine, spiritual sciences, or UFO encounters and your partner shares no interested in anything like that, this will result is an imbalance at some level because you will be vibrating at two very different places due to your new knowledge base and belief systems.
It’s really important to make it a conjoined effort to grow together in all areas of life, mind body and soul. If you are adopting a vegetarian diet, talk to your partner to see if they are open to trying it for a week with you. Ask your partner to watch a documentary that intrigued you. If they value you and growing with you long term, they should be more than open to experiencing things that mean something to you.
The key here is spending quality time that results in you guys sharing a new vibration grounded in new knowledge you have picked up together. Having your belief systems and ideologies broken down and built back up with new information is what evolution is all about, and to share that experience with your partner will bring you closer together because you have navigated that mental terrain together.
3) Get to know each other’s energy field
So you know your partner on a deep level from spending so much time with them and experiencing so many ups and downs, you’ve grown with them through solution-based arguments with each other, and you spend time expanding your minds together with new information. The final piece of the puzzle is to get to know that person’s energy field in an intimate way. To do this will require a lot of presence on your part, and will require you to be in touch with your own body, emotions, and energy field.
Your energetic state is essentially a combination of your conscious/subconscious thoughts, your feelings, attitudes, and beliefs. When someone sits close to you, they are literally getting closer to you, your insecurities, your pain, your demons, your secrets, and your soul. Instead of always “doing” something together as partners, try just spending time laying down together really close in silence marinating in each others energy fields and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with that experience.
This will bring you extremely close as people because you will have experienced and accepted one another in your most raw and pure state of being. You may find that either you or your partner is unable to be that close and raw with someone in silence because of past traumas they may have, insecurities they may have, or other energetic blockages. But that’s the beauty in sharing an experience like this is that is brings everything to the surface, including your true feelings for each other at the conscious and subconscious levels.
Or try bringing consciousness into your sex life and direct your attention at conjoining with them as a soul when you are most intimate with them. Just as much as you interact with them at a mental and physical level you should be interacting with them at an energetic level.
To sum up, use your fights as an opportunity to understand yourself and your partner better, grow together mentally and intellectually, and become vulnerable within each others energy fields. These three ingredients will make a world of difference in turning your relationship into a spiritual partnership.