Thinking Of Living Together?
KEEPING THE MYSTERY is the first thing that you would think of when you and your partner have decided to not live together. It’s true, that is one of its advantages. Nothing kills the romance like reality.
Keeping the Romance
Having an air of mystery around you is always part of the romance game. If you’re not living together, he’ll never know if you left the blow dryer plugged in after using it, or if your bedroom looks like a tornado went through it just because you couldn’t decide what to wear, or that you dropped makeup on the floor but didn’t have time to clean it up. And she’ll never know if you’re always this neat or you just shoved all your stuff under the couch before she came over, or if you typically leave the toilet seat up in the middle of the night.
When you’re in a good relationship, all you want to do is get more of a good thing. You want to make plans and spend as much time together as possible. Sometimes you want to stay over, but a sleepover, even one that lasts for days, is not the same as sharing your space 100% of the time. And it turns out that not just new relationships are enjoying the perks of not living together. Some married couples are doing it too.
There is one growing group of people who choose to be in committed relationships but not live together. They are known as LATs which stands for Living Apart Together. These are committed relationships/marriages where people are faithful, exclusive and dedicated to their relationships but still choose to live apart. An article on www.empowher.com, stated that most LATs would site the benefits of this arrangement as “enjoying a committed and exclusive relationship while still maintaining their independence.”
Being Able to Take a Break
For some people who are older and/or more set in their ways, being a LAT is a great opportunity to have the closeness of a relationship while not giving up their right to be messy, quirky, or whatever they’ve grown to be comfortable with while alone. For younger couples, the reasons are pretty much the same. There are no fights about housecleaning, and when they need a break from being a parent, they can send the kids “next door” to the other parent.
Some couples will move in together when they’re planning to get married. Whether they call it a test or not, it basically is a test called, “Can We Live Together Happily Ever After?” If you’re in a solid relationship with a plan to marry, this test can prove whether or not you’re able to cohabitate with your mate. If it works, you set the date and get married and go on living together. If it doesn’t work or if you get married and that doesn’t work, it can be difficult to untangle the mess of mixed finances and co-owned property. And how do you split the dog in two? According to an article in the Huffington Post, this is known to researchers as “relationship inertia.” It’s the result of when “couples [are] emotionally and financially invested in relationships that might have ended had the couple not cohabited.” Not many things in life can be more difficult than living with someone you no longer get along with.
There’s one saying that can pretty much sum up the perks of not living together, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” When you don’t spend every waking moment with a person, you can really grow to miss their company and you can get excited about seeing them again.
Basically, the perks of not living together can be tempting: You can keep the romance alive, you can be independent, you can take a break, you can end things without entanglements (if that’s where it leads) and you can better appreciate the time you get to spend together, but it’s not for everyone.