Let’s Blame the Blame Culture
People growl intermittently about the current ‘blame culture’. And it’s true the word ‘accident’ is sometimes mistakenly used in place of ‘potential payout’. Don’t blame me! I’m just saying, is all.
You’ve Given the Power to Someone Else
Feel like someone kept you from getting a promotion at work? Do you think that your terrible ex makes it impossible for you to find a great romantic relationship? Do you resent your parents for not being able to afford your college tuition? When you blame someone else for something you don’t or “can’t” have, you give them all the power. You place your happiness and success in their hands, rather than in your own, where it belongs.
You’ve Convinced Yourself You’re Powerless
If you blame someone else for everything that’s wrong in your life, you’re telling yourself you are powerless to change it. Blaming someone else doesn’t make you feel confident and strong. It turns you into a self-conscious, weak person.
You’ve Turned Into a Victim
When someone does something negative to us, it’s easy to fall into the role of the victim. You may even ask yourself, “Why me?” Don’t ask yourself this question! Do you think you deserve this treatment? Are you trying to search for something you did that caused this event to happen? If you take on the role of the victim, you admit you’re powerless.
You’ve Turned Into a Negative Person
If you constantly blame others for life’s disappointments, you turn into a negative person. All you can talk about are all the negative things that have been done to you and no one wants to be around a person like that. Try to find something to be grateful for and focus on that, rather than the negative things that have happened to you. Maybe something good came out of your negative experience. Maybe it taught you a lesson or strengthened a friendship or family bond. Maybe it led to a new career path. Focus on that.
You’ve Gotten Yourself Stuck
Do you feel like you’re stuck in the mud? Do you feel like a broken record or a record that keeps skipping on the same note over and over? If you do, you’ve gotten yourself stuck. But you can move forward if you take the right steps and find the right tools for you. If you are suffering from the effects of a trauma, get counseling. There are many resources and support groups and some of them are free or low-cost. If you have self-esteem issues, take up martial arts. Recently, I attended a Krav Maga women’s empowerment seminar with some friends and we all left the seminar feeling stronger, more empowered and more confident. Forgive those who have wronged you. Forgiving doesn’t mean that what they did was okay. It just means that you are letting things go and releasing the power you’ve let them have over your life.
The world doesn’t work they way we want it to, and no matter how hard we try, we can’t control everything and everyone around us. That’s okay. Life will hand you challenges and traumas, not because you deserve to experience them, but because life is sometimes cruel and random. But whatever life hands you, you get to decide how you respond. Don’t give your power away. Don’t be a victim. Don’t get stuck.