Are you constantly asking yourself if he loves you or if he doesn’t? If this is happening then chances are you are dealing with someone that might have an avoidant personality. This can be someone that doesn’t seem to have the emotions that you have and someone that loves you one minute and doesn’t seem to love you the next.

Do these people play hard to get? Chances are the answer is no and that they really are just emotionally unstable. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have feelings for you or that he doesn’t love you, it just means that he is that kind of personality. There are around 2% of people in the United States that are avoidant personalities. This is a person that is shy, sensitive, and anxious. They often are diagnosed with a personality disorder.

What is an Avoidant Personality?

Someone with this personality will have a hard time in relationships because of their fear of intimacy and love. There are two different kinds of this personality style including: fearful avoidant and dismissive avoidant.

People that have fearful avoidant personalities often have a hard time letting people in their lives. The person with the dismissive personality disorder will be someone that doesn’t show emotions or someone that is always independent.

It can be hard to deal with people of either of these personality styles and there are signs that you can find out if the person loves you or not, even with this personality. These signs can show you that the person has the ability to show you love even if their love language is different than you. Once you can recognize the clues, you can figure out if you can continue in the relationship or not.

Before you think that this relationship is over, some people just aren’t able to love like you do. They express their love differently than other people.

Signs He Loves You

Here are some signs an avoidant personality loves you:

Putting Up a Wall

Some avoidant people will put up a wall and will be hard to have intimacy. They seem to have no emotion and they will avoid love. They will have a hard time being vulnerable and when they do show this, it means that they are loving you.

Like Minded

Most couples want someone that thinks like they do and when you are with an avoidant person, they will try to keep up with you by being like you are. They will not admit this, but they will try and cope with what you want from them.

Independent

This kind of person will be independent and they will not like to have help form you. The more dependent they become the more they are opening up to you.

Love Language

You cannot expect an avoidant person to love the same way that you do. They might not text you like you want or they might not respond but when they do they are putting in an effort.

Hidden Cues

Pay attention to hidden cues from this personality type.  Maybe they are holding your hand or showing you affection. This can be the right track.

Listen and Look

Don’t get frustrated at this personality type and avoid judging them. Try to say what you want out of them but make sure you are being kind and open.

Ranting

A person that loves you will tell you how they are feeling. If they are in a stressful situation, an avoidant person will usually keep it to themselves unless they are getting close to you. Then, they will open up and rant to you.

Making a Move

When a guy seems to be playing hard to get, it can be confusing. A person that is an avoidant will fear being rejected and they will be insecure. This means you might need to make the first move.

Bonding

An avoidant person will have a hard time bonding with you. They will not have the emotions to show you what they feel. Let them have time to open up to you slowly.

Therapy

If you want to stay with this person, chances are that you need to have couples therapy. This can help you to connect with each other. They will be able to open up more when they are put on the spot by a therapist and this can be healing in your relationship.

Therapy can help you to have a deeper relationship with an avoidant personality and if you put the effort in and they are trying too, give them a chance. Sometimes they don’t do good in romantic situations and sometimes they can work through things and make it happen.

Make Them Miss You

Here are some ways that you can make an avoidant person miss you:

Give Them a Break

Give them a break and some time away from you. Sometimes they feel smothered, and they need to have someone that will give them space.

Find a Hobby

Find a hobby that you love to do and do it on your own. If he needs time to get away and escape, you do it by doing your own thing. This will make him miss you.

Addictive Feelings

Make him want you and do things that makes him think about you. Cook for him and give him small gifts. Don’t overdo this thought.

Trust

Build trust with him. Do this by being vulnerable even if he isn’t. Find things that he can tell you and keep his secrets.

Hold On

Take time to hold on. Don’t go after him and don’t overwhelm him. If he needs space, hold on and give it to him.

Make Plans

It can be hard for an avoidant to make plans so you make them. Plan something and then tell him about it so he will commit.

Know Their Triggers

Pay attention to his triggers and avoid setting him off. Let him know that he has a safe place to go and that he can open up to you without you getting him upset.

Comfortable Place

Be a comfortable place for him to go when something is wrong. Be open hearted and open minded to him. Avoid judging him and being in his personal space when he needs a break.

Final Thoughts

If you are with someone that is an avoidant personality, they can still love you but this is on their own terms. You have to remember that people are not going to always be like you. If you want to be with him, read the signs above and give him the space he needs. You might have the best chemistry in the whole world but you need to realize who you are dealing with and what you can do to make it work.

Do you ever wonder why you seem to attract men in your life that are toxic and that seem to be broken? You feel that you have a sign over your head telling all of the broken men to come your way. Why are you allowing these kinds of men to come to you? You might even ask yourself over and over, “why do I attract these kinds of men?”

Why You Attract Guys that Can’t Be Fixed

Here are some reasons you attract toxic relationships:

• You Have a Low Self-Image

When you are insecure and you don’t think much about yourself, chances are that you will attract the same to your life. You might think that you don’t deserve to be loved and the way that you treat yourself allows others to treat you the same.

You show how insecure you are by how you talk about yourself and by the value that you give your life. Toxic men are attracted to women that aren’t sure about themselves because they know that these are the women that will validate them and raise up their self-esteem.

• Always There

Men want women that are hard to get and so when you are always there for someone, they will attract to you in a negative way. Being there for someone all the time allows them to take advantage of you. This can be negative in your relationships and can sometimes even lead to abuse and being used.

If you are there for someone that doesn’t treat you well, you are allowing them to put their toxicity on you and to not show that you mean something.

• Boundaries

All relationships need to have some kind of boundaries. If you have no boundaries then you are letting people offend you and walk all over you. Even good relationships have to have boundaries and you need to always set these.

Don’t compromise on what you believe in and don’t let someone come across and take advantage of you.

• You Don’t Know What You Want

You need to figure out what you want in your relationships and get it.  If you want to just have someone to have sex with, so be it, but if you want a commitment, don’t give into guys that don’t want to go a step further. You should never feel bad for setting goals and standards for what you want.

• Broken

Some women are broken in their emotions and therefore they attract people that are the same. If you have been with other partners and your heart was broken, chances are you haven’t moved on.

Men that are toxic are attracted to this because they think that they can treat you how they want and that you will stay with them.

• Past Relationships

Some people have past relationships that were very bad and they seem to get stuck in a rut. If you are with someone that has abused you in the past, you cannot get back into this. You have to expose what you have went through and don’t let more damage come into your life.

• Fixing Things

There are women that just want to fix others. If you are that person and you want to fix someone and that is why you are with them, run. Don’t try to be with someone that is broken because you think that you can make them someone else. You are not going to change someone.

A person that is damaged will want your attention but that doesn’t mean they will change their terrible ways. Don’t let them trample over you and make you think that this means love.

• Setting Hopes

You should always have high hopes and expectations when you get into any relationship. But if you are hoping to marry someone and they are not there for you then you need to move on. Don’t just have sex with someone to meet your desires when you want a commitment. Make them commit to you first.

If you are the one always giving and they are not, this can mean that they aren’t committed to you and that they don’t care about your relationship.

• People Pleaser

If you are a people pleaser, then chances are that you are in a relationship with someone that can be toxic. Don’t keep going the extra mile to make sure other people are happy while you are there miserable.  Dating toxic guys can get you stuck in a place where you aren’t getting your needs met. Pay attention to who they are and how they treat you and then go from there. If it isn’t working out for you, move forward and find someone that is giving you what you want.

There are red flags that are there to warn you, just like when you see something red to warn you of a fire or something else. Red flags are there to help you to know what is going on around you and instead of ignoring them or trying to put them out of your mind, you need to pay attention to what the flags are trying to tell you.

Everyone has emotions and red flags are there to help you to know what you need to get away from. The thing is, when you see red flags in a relationship, they are hard to see sometimes, especially when are looking at your own relationship.

Understanding Red Flags

Red flags in a relationship can be something to do with a persons character traits or it can be something that has to do with someone’s behavior. You might see these red flags and they can be a warning that worse things are coming in the future.

If you are someone that has low self-esteem or other issues, seeing red flags for you might mean that you don’t feel like you are good enough. This can be a cycle that causes you to question yourself and to think that your life is not good.

You have wounds that need to be healed. These wounds can cause you to miss out on what your gut is trying to tell you and it can cause you to not be able to live your best life. Being in toxic relationships can be hurtful and it can seem impossible for you to be able to walk away.

Gut Feelings

Having a gut feeling means that you are able to know when something doesn’t seem right. Some people have these kinds of gut feelings and if you are in a relationship, your gut can give you signs if you are getting into a toxic relationship. The problem is that you need to make sure that you don’t ignore these signs.

You can even take time to write out what your gut is telling you and you will see that you are right and that you aren’t just overthinking things. Don’t stay in a relationship that you are not being treated right and if you are feeling this in your gut, stop ignoring it.

Once you begin to ignore your gut feeling or your intuition you will become deaf to it. Your gut will be there and by not ignoring it then you are working towards reaching your relationship goals.

Understanding Intuition

Intuition is a gut feeling, and it is something that you just know. You don’t even have to have real information for your intuition to work for you. You just know that you know something. You will see that you can avoid drama and hurtful things when you start listening to your intuition.

Don’t let your insecurity cause you to ignore your intuition but let your intuition be enough to guide you. You deserve to be in a relationship that helps you to feel better and helps you to be strong. Intuition allows you to see things clearly.

It can be hard for people to understand their intuition right away but once you start listening and communicating with your intuition, you will see that it will show you when there are red flags. It will show you when negativity is surrounding you.

Don’t sabotage yourself and ignore your own gut feeling and intuition. Embrace these gifts that you have and let them show you who you are and what you need. Your gut feeling can help you to feel secure and help you to have more self-esteem.

Gut feelings help you to be able to see red flags so that you can be protected and so that you can walk away. Your gut feeling is there to help you and it will help you to deal with relationships that are hard.

Seeing Red Flags

When you first start dating someone and you are in the honeymoon stage, things will seem good. But things can get dark fast and if you are in a relationship that gets dark fast, chances are that you will feel that you were blind to who the person really is.

Your ex might have given you signs after a few dates and these signs aren’t always easy to see. You might have had to face problems with them or you might see that they drink too much or they are too angry. Red flags can help you to figure these things out right away so that you don’t have to stay with someone that is causing you more harm than good.

Don’t ignore red flags. Don’t pass up the opportunity to get out before its too late. Don’t invest all of your time with someone that is going to hurt you. Red flags are a gift that the universe gives you so that you can realize that things aren’t good before things get too deep. With red flags, you can see what a persons traits are and see if they are someone good to be with.

Seeing a red flag means that you walk away. You don’t keep investing things and you don’t allow these things to slip by you. Red flags are there so that you can take action against them and so that you can react, not ignore what is going on.

Red flags are about taking your life back and having a real purpose. You need to be in a relationship where there is honesty and love and real communication.

Dealing with Red Flags

Being in a relationship should be a great time but if you see that there are red flags, you need to not ignore them. You need to pay attention if red flags show up in your relationship.

Red Flags in Relationships

Here are some of the main red flags that you might see in a relationship:

Values and Morals

Pay attention to your partners values and morals. This can be a deal breaker in any relationship. If you have totally different morals and values, chances are that you might want to get out of this relationship. There will be things that your partner thinks are okay and that you don’t agree with. You have to decide which things are acceptable to be different and which ones mean that you need to breakup.

Don’t stay with someone that has totally different morals and values that you have. Look at what he believes in and see how it makes you feel. Once you see that there are things that you cannot deal with in your relationship, be respectful enough to yourself to walk away.

Don’t worry about what other people think and only care if you agree with it or not. Some things other people will be okay with and you don’t have to be okay with whatever you aren’t okay with.

Friends and Family

There are some red flags that you will even see within your friend and family relationships. These things can cause your relationships to become strained. It can be hard to bring up a red flag in a relationship with one of your friends or family because this can make you feel insecure or make you feel that you should ignore it.

By ignoring these red flags though, you will see that you aren’t going to be as close or as trusting to your friend or family member. You will spend much of your time questioning what you are doing by staying in this person’s life.

Repetitive Patterns

When there are red flags in your relationship, you have to figure out what you are going to do about this. Even a good personality can feel good and look good but sometimes there are still red flags that can show up. Make sure that you aren’t dealing with someone that has a bad character or bad integrity.

Just because you believe someone has a good personality doesn’t mean that you aren’t ignoring something. If you keep seeing a pattern repeating, you need to make sure that you are paying attention. If your partner is giving you a pattern of red flags, this can be a bad sign.

What Are Red Flags?

Here are some red flags:

Labeling

People often will label themselves and this happens when they are immature and when they have a hard time being committed. He might label himself as single because he isn’t decided if he wants to be in a serious relationship or not.

Past Relationships

Some people are stuck int heir past relationships and if your partner is, this can be a problem for your relationship.

Controlling or Abusive

Someone that is controlling or abusive will show many red flags. Also, gaslighting is another problem. When someone just starts ignoring you, this is a major red flag.

Overly Defensive

When you ask your partner questions and they are overly defensive, this can mean something is wrong in the relationship.

Addictive Behaviors

Addiction can cause your relationship to come to an abrupt halt. Don’t stay with someone that battles with addiction without getting help.

Faking Love

Don’t get stuck with someone that is faking loving you. Faking can end up leading to cheating and it can end up leading to hurt. This kind of behavior is selfish and unhelpful.

Contradictory

A person that has this personality will accuse you of things and will make up excuses for all of their behaviors but will put yours down.

Selfishness

A person that is selfish in a relationship will never give you what you need. They will only care about themselves.

How They Treat You

A guy that loves you will treat you well. He will also treat children, animals, and other people well. Pay attention if he isn’t treating others well.

No Empathy

Empathy is a way that you can put yourself in the shoes of other people. When you aren’t able to have empathy for others, you might have a mental disorder. Walk away when you are in this kind of relationship.

Making You Jealous

A man shouldn’t try to make you feel jealous by comparing you to other people or by talking to other women. This is wrong and hurtful and a major red flag.

Liar

A person that lies often has a problem. This should be a big red flag for you. Don’t let people lie to you and expect them to be truthful when it is hard.

He is Trying

A man that says he is trying isn’t trying at all. It is easy to be nice and it is easy to show love.

Honesty and Kindness

Being honest and kind is something that should be easily happening in your relationship. When you aren’t seeing this then this is a red flag.

Cheater

A guy that tells people stories about how he cheated on his ex and laughs about it can be doing the same thing to you. Don’t be his next joke.

Just Kidding

When a guy hurts your feelings and then just says, “I’m kidding,” isn’t kidding at all. No jokes that are putting you down should be considered funny.

Different Ideas on Love

You should be with someone that loves you the way that you love them. If they have a different idea on what love is than you have, it might mean this isn’t going to work out.

Most people have went through some kind of breakup at some point in their life and they wonder what they can do to get their ex back. Sometimes people need to take a relationship break and this doesn’t always mean that the relationship is over forever.

You might wonder if you should just let him go or if you should try to get him back and you might wonder if you stop talking to him if he is even going to miss you.

Missing You

Breakups can be hard, and you might wonder if he even is going to miss you. Everyone wants the answer to be a yes but sometimes this will depend on different factors. This can depend on how much you loved each other and how long you were in the relationship together. You might also need to consider why you broke up in the first place.

He will miss you and want you back if you make the situation work for your advantage. You need to make sure that you aren’t being needy and you aren’t begging him to come back to you because this will never work.

Leaving Him Alone

Men can be strange, and they act differently during a breakup than women do. They have different emotions, and they aren’t needy. They want you to prove that you aren’t going to be needy and the best way that you can do this is to give him the silent treatment. He will wonder why you haven’t tried to contact him and if you miss him or not.

Some women wonder if they will be forgotten or if he will get with someone else if she gives him the silent treatment but remember, you aren’t together right now anyways.

How to Stop Contacting Him

Women have a hard time leaving men alone after a breakup. This can be hard and you will want to talk to him and see him but you cannot do that. You have to avoid calling or texting. If you have friends that are mutual friends, don’t hang out in those places that you know he will go. Stay busy with your life and find hobbies that you neglected in the past.

No Contact Rules

Here are the no contact rules:

• No contact will stop things from getting worse. The closer you stay to him the more you will argue and this will not give you feelings or emotions time to heal. Let yourself heal so that you don’t push him further away.
• He will miss you if you give him a chance to miss you. Most men will miss you if you leave them alone. Men are creatures of habit and so when you take things away from them that they are used to, they will think of you.
• Being more attracted: He will be more attracted to you if you are leaving him alone. If things were bad before the breakup, you need to give him time to get over these things. Once you stop going after him, you will see that you can have the power to make the relationship work out for you.

Making Him Want You

There are things that you can do to make yourself more attractive. Women wonder if he will come back if you leave him alone and if you do this, he will at least look at you in a more positive way.

You Listen

Once you step away from the relationship, it allows you to listen more. If you don’t leave him alone though, you will not listen to what he is trying to tell you. If you don’t listen, he will probably think he was right to break up with you.

Stay Strong

Women that are strong are seen as sexy. Give him the space that he wants and make him want to see you. Make him come to you when it is time for him to miss you. Let him see that you are discovering who you are and that you are living your best life.

Be Mature

Don’t be immature and act like a child. Don’t do what it takes to get what you want but just sit back and wait. Leave him alone and let him see what he is missing.

Having a Loving Relationship

You can leave him alone and you will wonder if he is going to come back to you. The truth is you never really know. You can take things slow, have fun in your life and wait to see what happens. Having a no contact with him will make this work out better for you, even if you need to end up moving on.