We’ve all had to deal with an ex at one time or another. Sometimes it’s a clean break, and we never see or talk to that person ever again. But there are other times when it may seem like your ex either won’t go away or can’t be out of your life one hundred percent because of a particular situation. Whether the two of you have children together or have decided to remain friends, dealing with and seeing your ex after a breakup doesn’t have to be negative. However, it can prove to be a problem in your life if not handled carefully, especially when it comes to causing trouble with a new relationship.

Dealing with your ex can be complicated, especially if they don’t want to accept that your relationship is over and are trying to win you back. But it’s best to handle your ex with care and understanding, especially if there are children involved.

Do you have an ex that just won’t give up and keeps calling you or trying to communicate through other means? This can definitely lead to problems with your new significant other. The first step to dealing with this situation is to determine why your ex is still trying to get in touch with you. Of course, if you and your ex have children together, you will likely have to stay in touch. But what if there are no children involved? Perhaps your ex is still trying to find closure? Or maybe they intend to try to get back together with you? Once you determine why exactly your ex is still contacting you, then you can figure out how to proceed further.

If you and your ex don’t have any ties that require you to stay in touch, then it’s time to tell him or her that you don’t want to stay in contact any longer. Hopefully, they will respect your wishes. But the important thing to remember is to stay firm and let them know that it’s not okay to keep calling or contacting you.

So, what if your ex wants to spend more time with the children? Of course, it’s never easy dealing with a breakup when there are children involved. It can be even more difficult juggling a new relationship with your ex and when he or she can see the children. But if your ex had told you that they want to spend more time with your children, first you must decide what you think will be best for the kids. If you agree that your children would benefit from seeing your ex more often, then you can discuss a solution that will work for everyone involved. It’s also important to keep your relationship with your new significant other separate from your ex so that your children can separate the two relationships…between your ex and new lover as well.

Breakups are never easy. And dealing with your ex after a breakup can be even more difficult. But in keeping a clear head and balanced point of view, dealing with your ex will hopefully either come to an end or remain on good terms if that’s what you’ve decided.

Saying that moving on after a painful break-up or loss takes time is just an understatement because it takes more than that.  Self-reflection is more important when we desire to move on since we already have painful questions that need answers because a part of us is already lost, and all the plans we made, dreams we shared, and the same commitments we had thrown away.

This personal process involves the following 4 initiatives:

1. Acknowledge your honest, fresh emotions

Embrace the emotional situation you’re in honestly and without discrimination.  Engaging in activities such as drinking, self-denial, or even waiting for the loss to stop hurting won’t make you feel better. Acknowledge your situation and be sad, cry, yell, and sob when you need to.  This is a way of showing that you value and honor whatever you’ve lost.

This is not the time to regret or hate yourself, as those just make everything more complicated.  Accept that whatever happened has happened; that is the only way you can control yourself. Acknowledge your problems the same way you would acknowledge an orphan with both arms.

2. Allow yourself to be helped

Allow yourself to be cared for. Friends and family are just some of the few individuals who are ready to support you if you allow them to. You do not have to change your behaviors, just be yourself and in your current situation, be it mourning and grieved self. Do not try to hide anything; allow real support to be there for you. Be true to your pain and let others help you overcome them. Be open, and don’t control how you feel.

3. Integrate the experience into your being

Contemplate the impact of that relationship and break up or that loss only after healing. What are the contributions of that person and that experience toward your well-being? What did you achieve?

Ponder if the next time you’ll open your heart, it will have learned something and if you’ll be more careful and open. Acknowledge the fact that you’ve made progress in healing yourself. Build yourself back by embracing your weaknesses.

4. Get ready for the new

You’ll be ready for a new chapter of life once you have gone through sadness, support, and integration. You will be stronger and firm as your progress into the future through the help of your intuitions and encounters. You will be able to do everything you weren’t capable of, and those who gave you a shoulder to lean on will always be there. Therefore, be thankful and show them love. It’s now time for you to experience happiness after days of pain. Happiness will be part of you; don’t send it away. You deserve to continue living.

Moving on doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Moving on means, you have become a new self unknowingly but magnificently. It doesn’t mean doing away with the pain. Reflecting on who you are and your needs—wishing and visioning. It means going through hard times to come out stronger and more well-developed.

Moving on is like being born again. It’s a painful and long journey. It needs to believe in what you don’t know, just like birth. But when it eventually happens, it becomes worth it.

A broken heart may feel like the end of the world. You have never felt so depressed and disappointed. No amount of pain has ever felt so concentrated. It’s like a giant hole into your chest, with no hope of getting fixed or repaired.

You cry and scream inside your heart every day and no one can hear you, nothing seems to smooth your heartbreak or soothe the pain you feel.

When we invest our time, our emotions, and our hearts to build a life with a partner, we feed our hope and nurture our happiness. A break up doesn’t only destroy that happiness but also destroy any hope of ever finding love again.

The question is: How can we move on? How to survive and avoid being stuck in the pain of a breakup?

• Rebuild yourself

Love enhances self-growth. As you spend more time together, the lines between you and your partner become invisible. So there is no surprise that when a relationship ends, people experience unbearable pain. Your sense of self shrinks and you may feel lost and unsure of who you are. So, it’s time to rebuild yourself. It’s time to try new things and spend more time with new people. One of the most important actions you can take to heal a broken heart is to expose yourself to new people and rebuild new relationships.

• Cut off all communication with your ex

Do not call, text or email your ex. If your ex is trying to reach out to you, don’t reply. You can even consider blocking your ex. Give yourself a minimum of 3 months while you detach emotionally from your ex.

If you have children together, try to limit your interactions as much as possible.

If you don’t have any reason (like children) to speak after 3 months, consider a full break up from that person with no communication. Otherwise, you your pain will continue and you will have a hard time moving on.

• Explore potential areas of interest for you

It’s never too late to be the person you have always wanted to be! Try new food, explore new hobbies, and find potential areas that interest you every day.

Pick up a new skill and develop it. For example, try glass-blowing, ceramics, a new instrument, or diving.

Invite your friends to try these new activities with you if you prefer.

• Volunteering will help you see the real world

Volunteering in your community can show you how fortunate you are to have everything you do. Find a local homeless shelter, nursing home or school to volunteer at and focus on helping others.

• Try a new look

Change your haircut, color, or style. Buy new clothes and give away anything you no longer wear . New look will help you enhance your self-esteem.

• Make a list of your good qualities

Breakups can make you feel really down about yourself. It’s common to blame yourself after a breakup, and this may lead to damaging your self-esteem. Take some time to think about all of your strengths. Write them down and remind yourself of them every day.

• Learn lessons from the experience

No matter how difficult are things happen to us. The question is can we learn from the experience? If we don’t learn our lessons, we will keep doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same response. So during this time of hurt, you might want to ask yourself some important questions about your broken relationship. For example, did you have open communication with your ex partner? Did you trust your ex? Were you able to see things from each other’s perspective

Answers to similar questions can help you be a deeper person, and better equipped for your next relationship.

You have just started dating someone new, you feel so happy with your new partner, and you enjoy every single thing you do together. If you are smiling all the time for no reason, you’re definitely in the honeymoon phase. But when your honeymoon ends, the glow within your relationship starts to fade. You find yourself wondering, “what is next?”

Will your relationship survive?

But if things have gotten kind of boring in your relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that passion for your relationship is over. In fact, many long-term relationships sometimes go through difficult phases, which is normal. It’s hard to imagine being with the same person for years without feeling like you’re living the same day repeatedly.

The good news is that you only need to work a little bit on your relationship to get things back to normal and to get back the spark into your love life. Here are some ways to make it happen.

• Spice up your relationship

Do something new! Take a dance class together! Need ideas? What about a Salsa class? Do something different than what you’re used to doing, and you both will discover new sides of yourselves.

• Communicate!                     

Go ahead and communicate with your partner; communicating here doesn’t mean chatting about how your day was! I mean by communicating to speak up about what both of you are feeling. Are you feeling bored? Discuss the problem honestly and openly and try to find a way out.

• A TO-DO fun list

Making a TDF list will help you remember what you used to enjoy doing together in the past. Be creative and include big things like going skydiving together. Also, consider small things like having a happy hour together once a week.

You might just need to refresh your memories, and this fun list will make you remember that your relationship is supposed to be about fun and not other terrible and boring stuff.

• Boost your sex-life

Try new things. Try new positions. Talk dirty. Play sex games. Wear sexy lingerie. Speak your fantasies. Get open with your partner about what new things you want to try in the bedroom.

• Get rid of your phones!

One of the reasons that your relationship is at risk is that both of you might not be focusing on each other anymore. Instead, it’s more likely that the two of you are spending too much time on your cell phones.

One of the easiest ways to refresh your relationship is to get off your cell phone. Spend special “no cell phones” times when both of you leave your cell phone in another place and only pay attention to each other. No Cell Phone. No iPad. Just both of you and your love.

• See a psychic!

If you’ve tried a lot of other things and still feel like it isn’t working, a psychic might be a great way to go. You’ll be surprised to find that a love psychic can help you discover the potential in your relationship.

You’ve been with your significant other for a long time now, and you’ve probably fallen into an everyday routine to the extent that you can spend the entire weekend cuddled up on the couch. But what happens if you both get stuck in a comfort zone? You’ll want to get out of it before your relationship becomes boring.

The first step you both need to take is to plan something uncommon together in order to feel challenged and rewarded; couples need to feel that adrenaline rush in their relationship from time to time to be able to continue.

And whatever you decide to get out of your comfort zone in your relationship, make sure to put it on your calendar. If you need some ideas for what plans you should include, here are some ways to get out of your comfort zone:

• Try something different

Go on an adventure to new places with your partner; this will help take your relationship to a new level. You will discover new parts of yourselves when you go somewhere unfamiliar. You will shake out of your routine and be more open to learning and experiencing new things. You will also feel freer without all the usual stuff. This can be fun and good for the relationship as well. It will new your relationship and send it back to life.

• Spice it up and discover new places

Simply pack your luggage and go. If you are on a budget, eat or sleep somewhere unfamiliar. Try sleeping outside in a tent under the moon to spice up your romance and sex life. Plus, going the extra mile to try to change things up shows that you care and are both putting effort into your relationship.

• Help them make their dream come true

Has your partner ever dreamed of something but didn’t have the time or resources to make their dream come true? If this dream is outside their comfort zone, you can help them. Motivate them! Encourage them to overcome their fears. You can help your partner step out of their comfort zone by helping him achieving their goals.

• It’s never too late

It’s never too late to learn new things. You can enroll in a class, any class, dancing class, yoga class, art class, music class, or even cooking class. You can discuss it together to see what amuses both of you. What are common things that both of you enjoy doing and want to develop?

• Take the initiative

If your partner is afraid to take the first step out of your comfort zone, then why don’t you take the initiative and step out? Start with yourself. Motivate your partner and be an example.  If you have a goal that needs to be achieved, take a step forward. If there is a skill you have always wanted to learn, take the leap, and your partner will, too.