Love isn’t enough, at least not according to those of us living in healthy relationships. I’ve spent the past year looking for love and wondering why everyone keeps saying it isn’t enough. Two of the most commonly used words to describe successful relationships were not four-letter words starting with “L” … they were “compromise” and “sacrifice.” Yet, according to Relationships Australia, over 90 percent of us still say we marry for love.
Do Happiness and Love Go Hand in Hand?
Love is a powerful emotion; it can be both inspiring and drive us mad. Still, most of us want to feel love, even with its exciting unpredictability and lack of a guarantee, but is it enough? Do you need more than love to make you happy?
Can Happiness Live or Last on Love Alone?
Falling in love may be enough to start a relationship, but it’s not all we need to make us happy in a relationship, and it’s certainly not enough to sustain it. You can be happy because of love, but you can’t be in love when you’re not happy—not if you expect it to last. So what do you need to make you happy? Is it respect, trust, compatibility, or maybe commitment? Could you be truly happy if your relationship didn’t have any of those qualities?
Cause and Effect
Love is an emotion and a powerful motivator. It can make us overlook the absence of a lot of things we want or need in a relationship. That’s called “sacrifice,” and it’s a choice we make. We choose what we will and will not accept in love. However, if someone continually asks you to sacrifice or forgive them in the name of love, that’s not a choice. And there’s no way that’s making you happy.
Love can help you gloss over problems in a relationship, but if you have the thought that love can help you overcome those problems, then you’re probably the type of person who cleans a floor by sweeping dust under the rug. Eventually, those dust bunnies grow bigger and more problematic, and you’ll need more than love to tackle them.
The Foundation of Love and Happiness
How many of us have experienced being in love with someone who was all wrong for us? That can easily happen when we jump into a relationship based on raw emotion with no foundation to back it up. Although the emotional, lusty part of love is hot, it sometimes gets put on the back burner when life’s inevitable, practical side demands attention. That’s when you’ll need more than love to make you happy. Your happiness, the long-lasting kind, also depends on having a partner who is supportive, reliable, respectful, and who has similar values to your own.
Betting on the Future
You may indeed fall in love with someone who is not right for you—it happens. But if you fall for someone you already know is incompatible with you or someone whose values aren’t aligned with yours in the hopes that things will change—they probably won’t. You can’t make someone follow your dreams, align with your values, or be someone they’re not. If you think you can, you’ll be betting on your future happiness, and the odds aren’t in your favor. So instead, find someone who realizes that you both need more than love to make you happy.
The piece effectively highlights the practical side of sustaining a relationship. The idea that love needs to be supplemented with reliability, support, and shared values is crucial for enduring happiness.
The concept of betting on future happiness by hoping someone will change is indeed risky. The article correctly points out that one should find a partner who shares similar values and goals from the outset.
It’s interesting to see the statistics from Relationships Australia indicating that over 90 percent of people marry for love. Yet, the article raises valid questions about whether love alone can sustain long-term happiness in a relationship.
The discussion about the insufficiency of love alone to overcome relationship issues is thought-provoking. It underscores the idea that foundational qualities like respect, trust, and compatibility are crucial.
I agree. Ignoring the need for these essential elements can lead to unresolved issues that undermine the relationship over time.
The article makes an important point about the necessity of elements beyond love in a relationship. It delves into the significance of compromise and sacrifice, which are often inevitable in maintaining a healthy partnership.