Sadly, life is full of lies. Some of these are tiny white lies like “your dress looks great” or “she’s busy,” when these are untruths that are not hurting anyone but are still lies. There are also bigger lies that we tell one another that may cause harm but may not have been intended to at the moment. There is a very dangerous type of lie, though, the lies we tell ourselves.
The lies we tell ourselves are dangerous for a host of reasons. One relatively minor reason is that lying to ourselves can justify an unfair advantage. Let me explain. If we receive an unfair advantage, even if we did not ask for the advantage, viewing it as earned on merit is a lie. This type of lie will make it harder to discern and reward real merit and reward it when it is present.
Another dangerous truth that we often do not want to face is quite dangerous, that of a lethal habit like drug abuse or alcoholism, or even an abusive relationship. These lies are not just dangerous to the mind but dangerous to the body. If we are not willing to admit to the truth then the path could become physically dangerous or lethal.
Why is Lying to Ourselves Dangerous?
Telling ourselves lies is dangerous because, over time, we harden ourselves to our own desires. When we are willing to lie to ourselves, we become able to ignore our own wants and needs. When we continue to deny our own wants and needs, we can go down a path in life that is unsafe, unhealthy, and, most of all, unhappy. These types of lies lead us to a lack of self-awareness because the lies have cut us off from our awareness. Self-awareness is meant to refine us, so a lack of it will leave us stuck in whatever life we create without the ability to make real changes. If we end up stuck for too long, we can grow hostile toward ourselves and others.
What Can be Done?
It can be difficult to quit lying to ourselves because it is often so painful. The first real step is to admit you have been lying to yourself and then to take a full, realistic view of how your life is going and what lies you have been telling yourself. Once the lies are identified, do not focus on them but the opposite. Whatever we focus on will stay in control of our lives, so we must reword the lies into the truth we want. For example, I am not an alcoholic, and even when you are, can turn into I can work toward no longer letting alcohol control my life. The goal is to set realistic goals with achievable steps that can be attained over time. As progress is made, we must continue to be brutally honest with ourselves. If a failure occurs, be honest about why you failed and move forward.
Keep in mind the truth, even with ourselves, will always set you free.