Why It Takes More Than Love for You to Be Happy

Love isn’t enough, at least not according to those of us living in healthy relationships. I’ve spent the past year looking for love and wondering why everyone keeps saying it isn’t enough. Two of the most commonly used words to describe successful relationships were not four-letter words starting with “L” … they were “compromise” and “sacrifice.” Yet, according to Relationships Australia, over 90 percent of us still say we marry for love.

Do Happiness and Love Go Hand in Hand?

Love is a powerful emotion; it can be both inspiring and drive us mad. Still, most of us want to feel love, even with its exciting unpredictability and lack of a guarantee, but is it enough? Do you need more than love to make you happy?

Can Happiness Live or Last on Love Alone?

Falling in love may be enough to start a relationship, but it’s not all we need to make us happy in a relationship, and it’s certainly not enough to sustain it. You can be happy because of love, but you can’t be in love when you’re not happy—not if you expect it to last. So what do you need to make you happy? Is it respect, trust, compatibility, or maybe commitment? Could you be truly happy if your relationship didn’t have any of those qualities?

Cause and Effect

Love is an emotion and a powerful motivator. It can make us overlook the absence of a lot of things we want or need in a relationship. That’s called “sacrifice,” and it’s a choice we make. We choose what we will and will not accept in love. However, if someone continually asks you to sacrifice or forgive them in the name of love, that’s not a choice. And there’s no way that’s making you happy.

Love can help you gloss over problems in a relationship, but if you have the thought that love can help you overcome those problems, then you’re probably the type of person who cleans a floor by sweeping dust under the rug. Eventually, those dust bunnies grow bigger and more problematic, and you’ll need more than love to tackle them.

The Foundation of Love and Happiness

How many of us have experienced being in love with someone who was all wrong for us? That can easily happen when we jump into a relationship based on raw emotion with no foundation to back it up. Although the emotional, lusty part of love is hot, it sometimes gets put on the back burner when life’s inevitable, practical side demands attention. That’s when you’ll need more than love to make you happy. Your happiness, the long-lasting kind, also depends on having a partner who is supportive, reliable, respectful, and who has similar values to your own.

Betting on the Future

You may indeed fall in love with someone who is not right for you—it happens. But if you fall for someone you already know is incompatible with you or someone whose values aren’t aligned with yours in the hopes that things will change—they probably won’t. You can’t make someone follow your dreams, align with your values, or be someone they’re not. If you think you can, you’ll be betting on your future happiness, and the odds aren’t in your favor. So instead, find someone who realizes that you both need more than love to make you happy.

Stop the Blame Cycle

Current society seems to be locked into a culture of blame. You hear the words accident and “my bad,” so often, the words seem to have lost all meaning. When you embrace the blame cycle, you are giving your power to somebody else. If you are passed up for a promotion or opportunity, do you tend to hold someone else responsible? Are you resentful because everyone else has while you have not? When you do this, you’ve given up control of your success and happiness.

Do you feel powerless?

By blaming everyone else for the things that are wrong in your world, you reinforce the thought that you are weak and not in control of your own life.

Do you feel like a victim?

When faced with negativity, do you ask the world, “Why me?” Don’t do this! This implies that you think you did something to deserve the terrible thing that befell you. By acting like a victim, you tell the world that you have no power.

Have you become negative?

By blaming the world and others for your bad luck and disappointments, you are opening yourself up to negativity. Inviting negativity can backfire by isolating you from the positive aspect of your life.

Instead, focus on something you can be grateful for, which can turn your viewpoint around. Take the lesson, not the loss.

Do you feel stuck?

Do you find yourself complaining or feeling frustrated over the same thing over and over? If you have, you are most definitely stuck. It’s not hopeless. You can certainly break free. If you are stuck due to an external trauma, seek help. You can always take a self-defense class if you feel frightened or out of control. Start forgiving and stop blaming.

We can not control the world around us, and that’s fine. Even though you can’t control the challenges life hands you, you certainly can control how you respond.

How to Motivate Yourself

Motivation and enthusiasm act as wishes and interests; they also represent the incentive drives and enthuse you to take action and follow your goals.

However, you often have the desire and interest, but you lack the motivation. This is a frustrating situation since you want to do a certain thing but cannot get enough inner strength and motivation to act.

There are many reasons for the lack of motivation. It could be due to a weak desire, laziness, shyness, or lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. Sometimes, the reason is a physical or mental problem that requires professional help.

Motivation is the Key

Personally, if I had to describe the greatest spiritual key in life, it would be motivation. Motivation is THE key to not only mastering spirituality but regular life as well. Even if you consider yourself motivated, almost everyone can benefit from raising the bar and kicking life up a notch. Extremely successful CEOs and billionaires are not successful because they plateau; they are successful because they are always looking for new ways to find success.

Remind Yourself of Past Success

Many people have a difficult time getting motivated and successful people even have problems taking things to the next level. Think about it: How often have you dreamed of tackling something? It would be wise to remind yourself of past success where you crossed the finish line or any finish line to know that you can succeed again.

Change Your Mind and Heart

If you can change your mind and heart, then you can change your life. The tapes we play certainly become our reality. The constant thought of “I will never get this done” produces exactly that—never getting it done. So it becomes important to break up this “mental matter”—this thought that you do not feel up to whatever task is at hand. Motivational speakers like Tony Robbins and financial motivational speakers like Suze Orman are shockingly impressive at getting you fired up and out of the way of your own success.

Record Over Old Mental Tapes

The idea is to record over the mental tapes (like “I’m too tired,” “Not today,” or “I don’t feel like it”) that keep you from doing what you want to do. Try achieving something smaller and easier to manage to stay in the motivated zone. Personally, I love completing lists to get things done. There is something about the sense of empowerment and accomplishment I get from crossing the completed items off my list. Try making a list on days when you have a million things to do because, at times like this, you have a better success rate. This reinforces your new, positive mental tapes and also brings organization and order to what would ordinarily be a frantic, crazed, chaotic day.

Spiritual Motivation

You may have heard me say that for spiritual people, it is sometimes easy to KNOW spirituality, but it is a lot harder to PRACTICE the spiritual path. You love it, but do you live it? Spiritual motivation is just as important as motivation in the rest of the world. The exercises found at the end of the chapters of many spiritual books are just as important, if not more important, than the chapter itself. Yet they may be the most neglected part of the books. A tip to bringing spirituality into actual practice in regular life is to try to see God or the universe or whatever you believe in as your best friend, close confidante, and constant companion. Try keeping the conversation between you going at all times. This constant connection keeps your spiritual side “on” and is an easy way to “move up a level” spiritually (a big jump, by the way) and keeps you motivated on the spiritual path as well.

Better Karma through Forgiveness

We hear the word forgiveness a lot. What does it mean? Is it more than letting go of the pain and resentment of past offenses and releasing the hold on any thought of revenge? The act of forgiveness can not only release feelings that are holding you back, but it can also give you insight into understanding and compassion. When you forgive, you don’t reduce or justify the wrong that had been done to you, but you can let your feelings about it go. Lack of forgiveness can lead to undue stress and can even hurt you physically. It can be hard when we try to let go because we are still hurt. The negativity that we feel can keep us from finding true happiness.

We are only human, and our emotions have a hold on us. We are only human, and the need for revenge is inherent in us. If we let this part of ourselves take over, our resentment can build into a wave of repeated behavior that can lead us down a dark path of bad karma and negative energy.

For example, suppose a friend has wronged us, and we retaliate by spreading rumors or repeating stories of their ill luck. In that case, this only poisons our other relationships by making us appear petty and vindictive.

If we stay on this path and wear our hurt and pain like a comfortable cape, we just spiral into a negative cycle. In time, this keeps our souls from growing in forgiveness.

The hard part is trying to decide whom to forgive. You may have karmic debt that you are repaying, but the one who harmed you may also be involved in a karmic exchange. On the other hand, they may be paying a soul debt that needs to be repaid.

It’s even possible that your current situation is a product of things that have happened in a previous life.

But how do you figure all of this out?

An excellent way to unravel this karmic knot is to consult a psychic. A psychic can help you recall the moments from your past life that may be echoing in your current situation. It would be extremely difficult to do this alone. We are connected to our feelings. A psychic can help guide you.

A psychic is neutral and separate and can help you understand your karma without any predisposition. This examination, without bias, will help you determine what you should do.

You may find that the one with whom you are having conflict may have hurt you in a former life. In that life, you couldn’t forgive them. In this life, you can change the way you approach them and find forgiveness so that you can both progress spiritually. You may also discover that you had a part to play in the conflict, and now you can change this.

A psychic can bring harmony and balance back to your life by helping you let go of the pattern of negativity associated with the hurt and pain in your life. Your pain can leave a lasting mark that can attach itself to your soul.

A psychic can advise you and lead you through the choices to help free you from the negative energy that is affecting your karma. Once you track down the source of your pain, you can stop accepting negativity and stop holding on to feelings of resentment.

Forgiveness can help you release the bonds that are tying your soul down. Once you let go of this negativity, the door is open for positive energy that will lead you toward rewarding relationships.

The right psychic can teach you to let go and help you find your way out of a negative cycle. Finally, you can forgive and have a better life.

4 Simple Tips on How to Take Care of Yourself

At times taking proper care of yourself is not easy due to the fact that you’re occupied. However, if you don’t take care of yourself a time will come that you will be fatigued and unable to think about anything or anybody.

There are minor self-care exercises you can engage in when you have little time.

You can select at least one from every classification and incorporate them in your life this week.

Trust yourself. There is a lot of potential in you which you are unable to see. Realizing this will, therefore, impact a lot in your life on grounds that you’ll be more successful and your potential will be the reason why. You will attract individuals with similar interests as you if you have confidence in yourself, however; if you don’t then you’ll find yourself misusing your potentials.

Maintain balance in your life. There should be equity in the way you take care of yourself. You can’t discriminate on other parts of the body while taking care of the rest. The same amount of time you give maybe to your physical health is the same amount you should give to your mental health. We all are able to balance.

Have some alone time at least once a week. During this alone time, you’ll be able to do what you want to do without any interruption. At least 1-2 hour is enough. Do what interests you on your daily basis like watching a movie without being robbed of your time. If you find it hard being alone you can involve a friend in your activities as long as it’s what you enjoy doing.

Have time for yourself every day. It might be hard to find time for yourself but at least 15 minutes a day can be appreciated. You would have made an improvement towards your well-being especially maintaining personal balance. During this time you can engage in activities that make you happy. It can be writing, listening to music, reading or drawing. You should do that frequently and plan well with the 15 minutes you’ve allocated.

There are measures you can take right now if all you are exhausting yourself. These are:

Set your alarm 15 minutes before time.

Set an alarm 15 minutes after taking lunch.

Or you can as well stay up for 15 minutes. Allocate time for your self-gain. There are times you spend watching TV ask yourself if you can at least allocate 15minutes of that time for your self-care time.

What is Your Zodiac Sign’s Flirting Style?

Love is a strange beast. While it is possible for people to fall in love at first sight, most have to find a way to capture someone’s attention. Everyone has a different way of getting someone to look at them romantically. This starts with flirting, and then something great can develop. Men, as well as women, demonstrate their own flirting style.

Here is a list of a few flirting styles based on Zodiac signs:

Aries

Aries are direct and to the point. An Aries will shower you with compliments with a focus on the now. Aries move fast and will move quickly toward the first goal: the first date. If you find yourself on the receiving end of this lavish attention, enjoy it, but remember, Aries likes a good chase and the thrill of the hunt.

Taurus

If Taurus finds you intriguing, they may be so enraptured by you that they may seem passive. However, you can be y assured that they are into you by their constant and immediate attention. Furthermore, they will show possessiveness when you are in public. Return their interest, and it will definitely pay off in your favor.

Gemini

Gemini will flirt with you by getting your intention in unusual ways. This may include acting in the complete opposite way that you used to, which means a sweet guy suddenly turns shy and aloof. If he is usually goofy and unkempt and suddenly becomes the perfect gentleman. This means he/she is interested in you.

Cancer

Cancers may seem shy and withdrawn. However, that is only for show. If they are interested and have been waiting for you to make a move, they may grow impatient and start asking specific questions about your feelings toward them. This may not seem romantic, but you will find their directness and honesty refreshing.

Leo

The sign of the lion and the king of the beasts is also the person who wants to be at the center of all of the drama in their world. They can be found as the life of the party or otherwise holding court within your group. If he has singled you out, you will know it when he begins to draw you in as part of the story. When you see this start to develop, flirt back and watch things develop.

Virgo

Virgos show their energy by using their active minds by disguising their flirting as charm. They don’t mind sending mixed signals until they know they are safe with you. They are detail-oriented, and if you want to attract their attention and talk about the big picture, there is a good chance they will engage back with you, and you will get to see their passion ignite.

Libra

Libras love relationships. This Venus-ruled sign talks about their past love with the great flourishes of Casanova. They love to flirt and will suggest future trysts or assignations. The real challenge is to get them to commit to anything more than casual flirtation. If you can get them to pay rapt attention to you and your stories, then you know they are truly interested in you.

Scorpio

Sexy intense Scorpio will be more than happy to seduce you with their hypnotic attention. First, if they are interested in you, they will give you a deep, intense look and share a secret. Then they will draw you in when they invite you somewhere alone and private.

Sagittarius

Flirting with a Sagittarius to flirt is easing. But getting them to move on to something serious is a different story. Sagittarius loves to play, and life is their playground. So you can usually get this stubborn Archer to commit by letting him know that he is in charge of the game.

Capricorn

If you have caught a Capricorn’s eye, they will talk about their achievements and generally build themselves up. This is their way of letting you know that you are welcome in their life, and if you become part of their big picture, you can share in all of their successes. That may not sound very romantic; it’s a byproduct of the social discomfort that is part of this sign. But when you have caught a Capricorn’s eye, you will know it!

Aquarius

This sign is very unpredictable and exciting. Even if they are in the middle of flirting with you, something will grab their attention, and then they will jump into that subject and turn away from you. They love long discussions about intense subjects and will be just as surprising and intense when it comes to romance.

Pisces

Pisces rely on intuition to guide them through life. They may start flirting with you without ought even knowing it. You may have to be specific if you find them swerving toward a romantic topic. Be upfront about your intentions, and their interest will flourish.

Love Psychic Readings & Relationship Psychics

Are Your Romantic Expectations too High?

We generally have the expectation that our romantic partners will be supportive when we need them. From time to time, our subconscious will take inventory of our partner’s successes and failings to see if they measure up to our expectations.

If you find your relationship lacking, here are eight reasons you may be setting standards too high:

You are too self-centered.

While we think we will be happier if others behave the way we want them to, there is no rule, nor should there be any expectation on our part that they should. Scholar George Valliant has studied human happiness and states,” A cardinal rule for happiness is not to think less of ourselves, but to think of ourselves less.” This means you will feel happier if you think about your significant other before you think about yourself. Your relationship will be more satisfying if you focus on your overall happiness rather than expecting your partner to live up to your unspoken demands.

There’s No Commitment

If there is no understood commitment between two people, it is ridiculous to expect partners to make the kind of compromises that are key parts of relationships. You are setting your expectations too high if you want your partner to act as if you are committed when you are not.

You’ve Cheated (or Considered Cheating)

If you have been unfaithful or considered being unfaithful, you have no room to claim your partner is making you unhappy. People who have cheated on their partners often say they strayed because their love didn’t measure up in some way. It is absurd to expect one person to be the sole source of their happiness. It is setting the bar far too high to demand that one person fulfill all of your needs.

You Rely on Them for Your Excitement and Romance

You expect them to do all of the work. You need to work together if you want a romantic and exciting relationship. You need to take on some of the responsibility. Provide some of the adventures you crave, and you will find that both of you are thrilled.

You want mind-blowing sex, but don’t work at it.

In a committed relationship, sex can become routine. This doesn’t have to happen if both partners are willing to work together to keep things interesting. Communicate your needs to your partner, so they know what you like and need.

You aren’t willing to make sacrifices.

If you don’t want to make sacrifices or compromises, you can’t expect your partner to do so. You are setting the bar too high if you want something but aren’t willing to meet them halfway.

You Let Technology Get in the Way

Too often, we are distracted by our phones, computers, or televisions. This can keep us from engaging with the person in the same room as us. Communicating solely through technology can also cause a strain on a relationship. If you have a problem, wait until you can speak to the person rather than relying on texts or emails to push your point forward.

You Expect too Much Out of Life.

Your overall expectations are too high if you push yourself to the point of exhaustion trying to reach an impossible goal. While it is important to have goals, if we expect money, looks, or a perfect home to make us fulfilled and happy, we ultimately will be disappointed. This disappointment can lead us to find our relationships to be lacking.

So, learn to set realistic expectations and talk about expectations with your partner. Make sure they feel safe to share their own expectations so you can help one another.

Change Your Mantra, Change Your Life

It’s part of human nature to talk to ourselves. The key is to discover what we are saying and figure out if the message is right. When we change from a negative message to an empowering one, we can alter the course of our lives. For me, I know I’m going to talk to myself, the question is: What am I saying?

Becoming mindful of the messages we rehearse allows us to modify them. Adopting a new mantra empowers transformation as we internalize a new life script. Here’s how it works. Let’s say you regularly tell yourself that you’re stuck or that you don’t know what to do next. On the surface this may look like discouragement and worry. Underneath it is an internal script made up of messages replaying in your mind and heart that shape how you think about yourself and how you respond to your situation.

Your Mantra Keeps You Positive and Strong

Do you buy new outfits to change your look as the seasons change? Do you change your mantra just as often as you can? If not, it may be time to. That’s because the same mantra doesn’t always work for us, year after year. If your well-being or path towards change is feeling stagnant or slow, it may be time to change things up. Ask yourself these questions to see if it’s time for a change:

1. Am I happy?
2. How is my health?
3. Am I using my creative energy?
4. Do I have a good life?
5. Do I enjoy the company of others?
6. Do I pay my bills on time?
7. Do I have a savings account and do I put money into it regularly?
8. Do I like my job?
9. Do I have good friends who treat me as well as I treat them?
10. Do I have a Plan B?
11. Do I have a strong sense of self?

11 is the Number of Enlightenment

You should ask yourself these 11 questions because 11 is the number of enlightenment. If you’ve answered “no” to any of these questions, you are not working toward your highest good and it’s definitely time to change your mantra. Mantras are a sound that you can say out loud or in your mind to bring a sense of peace and joy to your life. It is also possible and a good idea to have positive affirmations that can be used as mantras to deal with special needs that occur at different times.

Some of My Favorite Mantras

One of my favorite mantras is from the lovely Tim Gunn. He says, “Make It Work.” This can be used when frustrated and in a mood where you are feeling like there is no way to get it done.

“I am bigger then my problems” is another mantra that lets you release negative thoughts about situations and allows you to find peace of mind so that you can accomplish your task.

“Today I will live in the moment” helps you take it one day at a time to develop what is needed to stay focused.

“Challenges and hurdles allow me to rise to my highest self” means that you are ready to take on a good challenge.

“I give as good as I get” makes you think about whether you give freely or with condition. This mantra rings in karmic energy.

“I will have ‘me’ time today.” How often do you really take time for yourself? Life moves so quickly that we often find ourselves too tired to do anything other than the daily grind.

Positive and Strong

If used properly, mantras work throughout our lives to keep us positive and strong. Mantras are the keys that unlock worry, ease the mind and release more mental energy. When we commit to taking care of ourselves on all levels (mind, body and spirit), we find that we can run like a finely tuned machine.

The Importance of Your Dreams

We all know that dreams are otherworldly. We are right to be baffled by the significance of our dreams, especially since they can shift focus and meaning, seamlessly confusing us. Nevertheless, our dreams are fascinating and can be so vivid and compelling that surely they must have some meaning.

You must pay attention to your dreams to understand your feelings and even yourself. Pay attention to what your mind is opening up to you. In dreams, the opportunities are limitless. They are a playground for your imagination. To get them most out of the dreams, you should record them. Try keeping a dream journal and doing some research into lucid dreaming.

Dreams can help you have fun with the facets of your life. Dreams can affect your mood, so make the most of them.

You can also look at dreams as a way to gain knowledge. They can also provide you with information as you learn to interpret their symbols. Some even say that our dreams are the most honest our brain can be since it gives our subconscious to stretch and flourish.

This is another reason to learn what our dreams can mean.

Dreams can mean many different things. This is because we first have to understand how our brain makes an association. Dreams can have many meanings in just one symbol. This can also change if you are ill or under the influence of medication or alcohol.

Since you are the only one who can assign meaning to your associations, you are the only one who can determine what they mean. Dream dictionaries can help as guidelines to help you figure out the meanings for yourself. A good way to start this is by recording your dreams. Once you get into the habit of recording the dreams, you can start to see a pattern in your dreams and can begin to interpret them.

You can understand dreams by learning more about your subconscious’s messages. Pay attention to things that are plaguing you in your waking life and record your subsequent dreams. Your dreams are important to life, so make the most of them.

What is I Ching and its History?

The oracle of the Chou people, the Chou I, came to be when the Chou were trying to overthrow the Shang dynasty. There was social and spiritual turmoil at this time, and it is said that a total solar eclipse on June 20th, 1070 BC gave the Chou king Wu the perfect opportunity to invade. The Chou I eventually evolved into the I Ching.

The I Ching called the Book of Changes in English, is the representation of sixty-four archetypes in six line combinations of yin and yang. These combinations are called hexagrams. For example, Yin/Yang, represents the duality of the universe and creates the dynamic tension that shapes all of the changes in the world.

Examples of yin/yang are female and male, the heavens and the earth, dark and light. The descriptions of the energy of humanity can be interpreted by the sixty- four hexagrams. The hexagrams can be analyzed in different ways. First, they can be divided in half to get trigrams that are representative of the fundamental elements; sky, earth, thunder, water, wind, and fire. These trigrams help establish the points in Feng Shui, the ancient art of placement.

In addition to this, the I Ching is the most ancient of all divination tools. It is one of the oldest books in the world. It was composed in or around 1000 BC. Its ancient and early history is legendary.

One of the myths of the origins of the I Ching involves the first emperor of China, Fu His. He is said to have watched a turtle emerge from the Yellow River. He knew that wisdom comes from observing nature and noted the eight symbols on the back of the turtle. This led him to the realization that the trigrams were reflective of the movement of energy in life on Earth.

Fu Hsi contemplated other patterns in nature through animals, plants, meteorology, and his own body. His myth tells how his understanding of the connection of all things through yin and yang led to his interpretation of the trigrams.

Early Chinese divination involved tortoise shells being heated over a fire until they cracked so the emerging patterns could be read. Some of these shells were stored for reference, along with the interpretations. These can be seen at the National Museum in Taiwan, China.

Yet another myth describes an ancient clan of female diviners who read the shells of live turtles. The myth states that they became queens and royalty in the Shang Dynasty. The Dynasty was considered mythological until archeologists unearthed relics in 1899. Lao Tzu, the founder of Taoism, is said to be descended from this group.

Taoist and Confucian traditions say that combining the possibilities of yin and yang with Chinese creation myths created the I Ching. This combination made the eight trigrams emerge.

The first I Ching interpretations were authored by King Wen towards the end of the Shang dynasty when he was imprisoned by the emperor Zhou Wang. Wen used his meditations on the trigrams. This mediation took Wen to a heightened mental state, and he assigned each hexagram a name and a meaning. His son King Wu added more interpretations, bringing the I Ching to its present-day form.

Confucius was I Ching’s greatest supporter, and he added his own wisdom to the interpretive texts. He uses I Ching as a resource for living a life of high virtue, not a divination system. He wanted to live his life studying the I Ching.

Evidence states that the Book of Changes and its hexagrams are part of an ancient oral tradition that was part of Chinese history before the written word. According to this, the basics of the I Ching were composed in the eighth century BC.

Using the hexagrams for interpretations didn’t happen until the fifth century BC. During the period known as the Warring States period, the I-Ching written texts were put into a book. To make them easier to review and share. It was spared the book burnings of the Ch’in Dynasty; it was considered a great piece of literature.

The Book of Changes was studied intently and canonized during the Han Dynasty.

Additions were made at the turn of the millennium. These additions regarded the individual lines of the hexagrams and the definitions of the trigrams. The commentaries are attributed to Confucius. After that, more changes were made, and it came to resemble today’s I Ching.

Chinese rules and the general public used the I -Ching before printing was available by weaving it into their culture. The influence of the Book of Changes has greatly influenced how the Eastern world is viewed. Over the last century, Western Culture has been exposed to the basics of Taoism. Carl Jung explained the value of of the I Ching’s psychological validity. This led to the Western World’s acceptance of the I Ching.

Today, the I Ching is consulted by tossing three coins six times to create the hexagram. This is much simpler than the tradition of casting fifty yarrow stalks to divine the hexagram. After the coins/stalks are sorted out, the sacred book is consulted to discern the meaning.

Advanced I Ching Oracle – Psychics

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